I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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