Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
