Will you blow on my dice?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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