Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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