Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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