I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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