I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
