I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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