we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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