You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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