My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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