Your tits are I can't wait for
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize