bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize