Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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