pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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