my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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