we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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