i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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