You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
