bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
