ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
