Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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