I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
