Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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