Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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