I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My feet surprised me
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