no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
