I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
where am i from again
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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