Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
