Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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