Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
