If i come over, it means nothing
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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