And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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