I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
