ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
