wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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