Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
