im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
