i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
