Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
