it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
