don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
