Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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