It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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