i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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