Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
