i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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