Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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