So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize