tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
