P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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