you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
