the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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