Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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