I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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