Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
