He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize