im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
