No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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