you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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