Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Someone signed my nipple.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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