Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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