lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
