Whod you bang
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
