Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
