i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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